HOUSE PRICE RISES? IT'S ALL A PIPE DREAM!

In the next five years only those who retain tenuous power will have the money but there will be nothing to spend it on except 24/7 personal protection.

The infrastructure Labour has been busy demolishing will have already ceased to exist, along with the alliance that was once England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Anarchy throughout the islands will have taken hold along tribal lines and the dirty bomb long promised by Muslim terrorists will have laid waste to London's business core.

Welcome to the future - or what the leaves from Nostradamus' old burst tea bag just told me.

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