Be positive
Praise good behaviour. It’s easy to ignore a‑child who is playing happily alone while you get on with chores. Parents often‑give children attention only when they’re misbehaving. Reverse this by‑taking
time to compliment them on a‑beautiful drawing, or just to say: “Aren’t you playing nicely?” By rewarding good behaviour you encourage more of it. In turn, this positive cycle makes them feel good about themselves.

Don’t get jealous
Think about the role model you present when you complain about another family having better holidays, a bigger home or a better car. This can breed envy in your child. Instead, be thankful for all you‑have. Emphasising the good,
non-materialistic things in your life‑makes your child feel secure at‑home.

Give them self-respect
Teach your child appropriate boundaries within your home – and tell them how they can apply these outside. If you show your child that people can walk all over each other at home and never show that you can assert yourself, that’s what your child comes to expect. This means they are liable to be bullied at school and don’t know how to assert themselves where necessary. Help them develop self-respect. Bullying has a very negative impact on a child’s self-esteem.

Don’t be dramatic
Children need to accept that bad,‑sad or difficult things occur in‑life.‑But don’t over-dramatise every hurdle you face. When a‑parent reacts to a challenge with hysteria, it immediately teaches the child that the world is a frightening, horrible and impossible place.

By keeping calm and looking for solutions to the problem, issue or dilemma that you’re facing, it will‑help your child develop the confidence to face whatever life throws at them.

Dr Pam Spurr is the author of the life-guide Sex, Guys And Chocolate – Your Essential Guide To Lust, Love And Life (Robson Books, £7.99).