But the tortured love lives, violence and even murder raging out there make East­Enders look like a Bible class.

Our wildlife is in a frenzy of lust as spring brings out the worst in everything from butterflies to blackbirds, according to a beautifully illustrated new book.

There is nothing random about those butterflies drifting aimlessly over the tulips. Males are guarding territory – a flower-rich sunlit patch, perhaps – and females are looking for love.

Two butterflies spiralling skywards, batting each other with their wings, are not dancing but males battling over a love nest. Males devote so much time to finding females that they don’t so much have sex between meals as the other way round.

Even caterpillars can be monsters. They are prone to eat each other – much like tadpoles. Some ponds even have a freak tadpole which grows bigger and bigger by eating his siblings without ever turning into a frog.

Fidelity is as likely in a garden as a weed-free flower bed. Blue tits, great tits, house sparrows – they are all at it with as many differentpartners as their wings can take them to. Male wrens often have two mates and nests on the go. It’s a wonder they have the energy for their deafening trill.

Swallows can’t stick to one mate – and the females go all aflutter for males with long tail streamers. Female squirrels mate with two or three partners – and the randy males regard that as being faithful.

And Mrs Tiggywinkle? She’s a raver. She can mate with six males a year, carefully flattening her prickles to avoid a nasty accident.

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