Ant and Dec. who are the true saviours of this show, are on hand to bring the lambs to the talent show slaughter courtesy of judge Simon Cowell and his desperate hangers-on Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden.

Harsh? Last year's winner, Paul Potts, anyone? Apologies if this sounds cynical, but is it really worth any of us investing this much time in someone who will end up with a rubbish slot on the Royal Variety Show, only to slip back into obscurity?