Emma's Major rift

Their son James blasts back that his ex-wife’s allegations are ‘wholly false’. What has brought about this bitter war of words?

How CAN you be a good grandparent when there is a broken home involved? Should a couple who want to see their only grandchild maintain a relationship with their former daughter-in-law?

Or should they respect their son’s feelings, mindful of the acrimonious public break-up with his wife, and see their grandchild only when their flesh and blood has custody?

Either way, it’s a fair bet that seeing themselves condemned by the child’s mother in the media – as happened to Sir John and Lady Major this weekend, when Emma Noble accused them of ignoring their eight-year-old autistic grandson Harrison – is unlikely to help.

“When Harry was first diagnosed, I wrote them a letter explaining what had happened, and saying that if they needed any more information they could call me. They didn’t,” said Emma, 35, in what must have been the nastiest shock for the privacy conscious Majors since Edwina Currie went public about having an affair with Major before he became PM.

“I’ve written twice now but they’ve never replied and I’ve never spoken to them about Harry’s autism,” added the former topless model, who married James Major after a whirlwind courtship in 1998, a year after his father left office.

“Harry sees his father every other weekend but – as far as I know – he doesn’t see his grandparents that often. I’m not asking for anything other than a phone call, an interest – Harry deserves that. I want Harry to respect his grandparents.

“I don’t want him reading about me saying bad things about them but there is a distinct lack of support in every respect. I can’t understand how they wouldn’t want to be involved; can’t imagine them not wanting to be. My hope for the future is that things will change.”

But it’s a moot point whether Norma Major – a Dame in her own right – will pick up the phone for a cosy chat with Emma after being publicly lambasted for not sending Harry a card on his eighth birthday.

Only a year ago, in a previous interview, Emma praised the Majors for “having Harry to stay when they can”, noting that “John sends him postcards from wherever he is in the world”.

Now, however, she seems determined to wound. She criticises them for not “being there” when she lost her first baby after a four-month pregnancy and all but blames her former mother-in-law for James’s failings.

“He is a product of very distant parenting,” she said witheringly. “The relationship between a mother and son is really important for their relationships later on.”

Eyebrows may also be raised over Emma repeating indiscreet comments apparently made by the Majors’ daughter Elizabeth. “When I agreed to marry him, his sister Liz thought I was an idiot and said as much. “She said: ‘You’re mad. What’s wrong with you. What do you see in him? I don’t understand. You’re too good for him. Get a grip, girl.’”

Emma Noble was never going to be a spin doctor’s dream. When she met James she was a hostess on Bruce Forsyth’s game show The Price Is Right. She had already demonstrated her hunger for publicity by talking about her sex life to a Sunday newspaper, gasping: “I’d never known how thrilling making love could be. We did everything but swing from the chandeliers!”

But James, then 23, who had moved from a traineeship at Marks & Spencer to a short-lived stint at the Café Royal nightclub, looked as if he could not believe his luck and was regularly photographed with his tongue in her ear. Within weeks he had moved in to her parents’ council house in Kent and after three months they were engaged.

They were married at the Palace of Westminster in May 1999, with a reception at The Dorchester. The Majors gave every appearance of welcoming their new daughter-in-law, and for her part Emma was determined to play happy families.

Once their son was born, she and James moved close to his parents in Cambridgeshire and her own mother and father upped sticks to settle nearby. She says she was delighted to turn her back on the flashbulb-­popping celebrity lifestyle, which she apparently hated. “It was torture for me but James loved it,” she says.

The notion that Emma Noble is secretly a publicity shy shrinking violet may come as a surprise. Since her marriage broke down, she has dated a co-star from Crossroads, the rocker son of Status Quo’s Rick Parfitt and an actor from the TV series CSI.

She is now hinting heavily that she may be going out with Simon Cowell. This is not the behaviour of someone who craves anonymity.

Nevertheless, her life was plainly turned upside down when Harry was diagnosed with autism before his third birthday. Although he is bright, he is a hostage to rituals and anxiety that can keep him awake for all but 90 minutes a day – which must by any standards be utterly draining for his mother.

The diagnosis came just as her marriage was breaking down, in the early part of 2003 – and part of her bitterness clearly stems from the pressure of looking after her son alone.

She says the support of her own parents has been crucial and although she does not criticise James for his present behaviour, she has also complained that he stayed away for a full two weeks after doctors broke the bad news.

The circumstances of the marital split remain mysterious. At the time, James was said to have moved out because Emma was having an affair with Graham McGrath, with whom she acted for a short time in Crossroads.

McGrath’s wife, who was about to have his baby, has publicly denounced Emma for ruining her life. But Emma now denies adultery, saying: “When he [James] said he wanted a divorce, I refused. I couldn’t believe what was happening. He could not divorce me because there were no grounds but it was something that he wanted very much.

“I was put under intolerable pressure by James to give him one – then later by his parents. We eventually divorced on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour but the wider world think it’s because I committed adultery. It’s not.”

Is she now getting her own back for the perceived smear? This weekend James, who moved to Inverness for a while but now lives close to his parents in Cambridgeshire, hit back and strongly defended his parents. “They see him [Harry] whenever he is with me and have taken a close interest in all aspects of his welfare since the day he was born,” he said.

“As for ignoring Harry’s birthday, any or all cards or presents for Harry are always given to me. Mum and Dad have always been there for Harry – and always will be.”

The Majors also denied they had neglected their grandson. A spokesman for Sir John said: “They strenuously reject any suggestion that they are not responsible, loving grandparents. Harry is and always will be a profound and joyful part of their lives.

“Since his birth, they have contributed and will continue to contribute significantly to his well­being.” Even if they were slightly distant grand­parents – not a crime after all – it is hard to see how media megaphone warfare would bring them closer. And as they say they are not, it is not clear what Emma has achieved with her onslaught.