EUROVISION SONG CONTEST, 8PM, BBC1

Don't tell fibs. of course you did. And things are about to get even more exciting, because tonight, live from the Belgrade venue, we have the final itself.

In accordance with tradition, the UK, represented this year by X Factor runner-up Andy Abraham, will be finishing 287th, but at least this time we can't blame some Johnny Foreigner conspiracy.

Nope, this time we can blame it on the fact we've entered a song (Andy's self-penned number Even If) that  fails to feature an actual tune.

And if you want a scapegoat, look no further than Sir Terry Wogan himself, whose wild-card vote on the selection show spared this rubbish from being eliminated at the first hurdle.